Thursday, February 08, 2007

Something strange happened the other day

Ugh! I've been tagged.

I put up a brave fight but in the end the numbers defeated me! Once and I could meander on my skippy way, twice and I was knocked to a crawl, thrice and I could fight as much as I do when offered a beer on a friday night.

Now i'm not so sure about this 'wierd thing' thing (I'm even more unsure about 'weird thing' things) wierdness being all about perception and all that. I don't find anything about myself inherently wierd, which means i'd have to pretend to be someone else perceiving me to try and figure out how I was wierd. And even then that would be an assumption (based on my perception of their perception of me, see).

Obligatory craft content. Crochet flower brooches made from leftovers.

The best I could come up with was that the day after I eat chewing gum my jaw hurts. Doesn't make for interesting reading really does it.

So instead I just asked other people what about me was wierd/quirky/unconventional (noting that unconventional is subject to the same conceptual flaws as 'wierd', but you knew that already didn't you).

And we have:

I can skull beer faster than MrBrownPants.
Yep. I've bailed him out a couple of times too. His last birthday it hit midnight and his rugby mates were all singing 'happy birthday' (or at least I think that's what it was), someone brought over a beer, he looked at me and said 'If I have another beer I think I'll die'. What's a girl to do? There are serious changeroom reprisals if beer doesn't get skulled. It turned out to be a secret super power. Shhhh.

Someone once ate my goldfish. This was six years ago and I'm still furious about it. It genuinely upset me so much I was vegetarian for 5 years. (I eat fish now, but no other meat)

Progress shot. Is that a heel flap that needs knitting?

I say Methodology a lot. This scurrilous rumour has been around for a while. I don't care though, I think it's a good word. And more people should use it. And sticks and stones and all that...

I am not averse to a bit of dancing and singing in the office on a Friday afternoon. Apparently these are knows as my 'episodes'. I do have a Friday afternoon iTunes list, Franz Ferdinand's Take me out and all that. Highly recommend it as a workplace strategy. There's nothing you'll ever do in a meeting that will look embarrassing once people have seen you moonwalk. I'd avoid the Macarena though, they may not take you seriously after that.

My new favourite top. Just to distract you from all the text.

And just to prove that this is indeed an exercise in perception, I have some crazy ideas. "Like that everyone deserves a decent standard of living. And women should be treated equally and stuff." Hmmmmmmm.

I have a morning fart schedule.
Alarm. Snooze.
Alarm. Snooze. Fart.
Alarm. Swear about being late. Get up.
You wouldn't think i'd admit to this, but I know i'm not alone. I'm sure there's more of us. Out yourselves, O' farty ones! Together we can take over the world!

I'm breaking the rules and not tagging anyone. I'm a rebel like that.

18 comments:

volcboy said...

In response to your responses;

1. I chulllenge you to a skulling competition (speed, not quantity) next time we meet. SoulCradler is not to allowed to be involved.

2. It took you five years before you ate fish, but have you stretched your diet yet to include goldfish?

3. Methodology is an OK word. I prefer crapulent, expectorate, factotum and solipsism. All in one sentence if possible.

4. I thought about singing "Morrison Hostel" in front of my year 7 class today, but then thought better of it.

5. My schedule is similar to yours. Only it is your lovely friend doing the farting and me getting out of the bed (quickly).

That gets me out of any tag you might have belatedly sent :-p

SoulCradler said...

About time :-)

Hey that's cool - the word for verification below on this comment is 'brfwn'. That's nearly 'brown'. Now THAT's weird.

Anyway, I love the crochet flowers.

Who ate your goldfish? I must have been drunk, I don't remember that happening.

And also, how is the sizing on that FP cardi? I was thinking of ordering the bluebirds one, but I'm not sure what size to get.

Lastly, don't believe anything Volcboy says, it's all lies, fabrications, smoke and mirrors. He has no methodology.

PS> When is MrBP going to jump on the bloggy bandwagon?

SadieandLance said...

1. I challenge you to a beer drinkin contest. I think it would be a long and expensive contest, we can both drink an awful lot.

2. Only cocks (and cats) eat goldfish. What a dickhead.

3. You do say methodology a lot although I think it's mostly around Kel...I only hear others talking about your use of the word. Though your second paragraph of this post reads just like it comes from a woman who often uses the word methodology.

4.Thank gawd you don't dance to the macarena cause that would be weird. But I hope you've been doing some dancin to Feist's 'Inside and Out' it's made for dancin! I don't think I'm up for office dancing though.

5.I have a similar morning ritual only I probably fart more than once and every so often I try and blame it on Mr S+L.

You forgot to say you believe in a woman's right to choose florals.

2paw said...

Your green sock is looking great!! I think weirdness is in the eye of the beholder!!!

lobstah said...

Those crochet flowers are so cute! I can't believe someone ate your goldfish. What is with people that do things like that?

Madge said...

1. Sounds like a match made in heaven. And secret superpowers? Cool.
2. No way. It wasn't Kevin Kline, was it? (that scene in A Fish Called Wanda is torture) People suck sometimes.
3. T'aint nothin' wrong with that there word.
4. *Snort* moonwalkin' in the office
5. Amen, sister.
6. TMI, rebel, rebel

The green sock is looking fab!

Jejune said...

Was the person who ate your goldfish a cat?

Love the sock - go the heel flap!

And *I* don't think any of those things are weird (eating the fish was someone else who is a cat being weird in any case ;)... it's everyone else who's weird!

I didn't tag anyone else either - I figured being tagged myself was quite enough!

knitrider said...

ha! oh man you are awesome. I have an, er um "schedule" that can't be disrupted, lest it put me in a funk the whole day. Not literally of course.
Those socks are looking great.
I love that you love the meatpod cover, Im also a similar vegetarian to you. So of course thats why its knee slapping hilarious to me.
happy knitting!

ladylinoleum said...

I don't think I have an a.m. fart schedule. Maybe I need to adopt one...

Um, we could be drinking buddies as I am a veteran imbibe-er and can pretty much outdrink most dudes too. Not that this is a good thing. I'm just sayin'.

Lizzy said...

Love those really cute flowers! Did you use a pattern ?

Sourire11 said...

great list of weird things... and I think it's amazingly cool that you can skull a beer faster than your husband.... I don't really know what skulling a beer is (that's not a term used here) but that's still very, very cool.

Bells said...

We shall have a skulling competition sometime BP!! LOL!

I would not speak ever again to someone who ate my goldfish. No way.

Bells said...

oh and what is the sock pattern???

Shazmina Bendi said...

I have a fart methodology, I know I have told you all once or twice so no need to comment any further!!
Love the cardi! I want one. I also want the FP owner/sales assistant he is hot! S&L knows who I mean!! You not weird, you funny ladieeeeeee!

Leah said...

Love the poms!! They look fantastic!

Fart schedule, HA! I think my husband can join in your plans to take over the world!! ;)

Louise said...

blimey I really started something on the weirdness tag...

I can add one about the goldfish. My goldfish was a crazy little sucker! He was forever sucking up the pebbles off the bottom of the tank and then dropping them back down - you could hear the pebbles smashing on the bottom of the tank all day long. But one day my mum noticed a bit of commotion in the tank - well it had to happen sooner or later - one of those pebbles had got stuck in his gob! Mum managed to get it out by shaking the little blighter by the tail fin. He recovered only to continue his pebble campaign. That fish had a death wish - he used to jump out of the tank too!

loving the socks...
Lx

Shazmina Bendi said...

ok, when are we getting a monkey post???????

moistie said...

1. I challenge every one of you to a beer drinking competition. Ask Volcboy about my abilities.

2. I find it strange that you stopped eating meat because someone ate your goldfish, but when you started again you ate fish.

3. I say although a lot.

4. I always do random things in front of people at any time. It helps to keep them on their toes.

5. I prefer spontaneity in my flatulence.

The Shaguar leaves tomorrow after a three week visit :(